Category: spiritual growth

One View of the Garden of Eden After the Eating of the Fruit

On By MaryIn Awareness, cosmogony, cosmology, growth into humanity, mysticism, spiritual growthLeave a comment

It came to pass late one afternoon, in the transitional moments before twilight, just as the sun was caressing the horizon, that Shekinah was strolling through the garden. She was carrying a resplendent, glowing alabaster pot, filled with the fire of the breath of creation, on her way to feed the tree of wisdom and the tree of life. Just ahead of her she saw Adam and Eve, and at first she couldn’t fathom what they were doing. Then it dawned on her, they were dressing themselves in fig leaves.

Shekinah was so shocked, she dropped the pot, and it shattered into billions of shards. How did they know they were naked and needed to cover themselves? There was only one possible answer. They had eaten of the tree of wisdom, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, before the fruit it bore was ripe. They just couldn’t wait. In one, maybe two, more months, the fruit would have been ripe, creation would have evolved a bit more, they would have grown in knowledge and wisdom themselves. Things would have been so different.

Shekinah tried to tell Yahweh that giving them a prohibitive commandment wouldn’t work. She argued that it would have been better to explain the ripening process to them, to help them understand it was not “no, never” but rather, “no, not just yet.” But now the fruit of the pomegranate tree will never ripen.  Now, Adam and Eve will have to face the consequences of their actions. Now, all of humanity to come will have to devote their lives to the repair of the world, regathering the fire of the breath of creation through acts of mercy and justice, working to find the balance between those two kinds of good works.

Who Made You?

On By MaryIn growth into humanity, In-spiration, lost goddesses, mysticism, random thoughts, spiritual growth2 Comments

I will confess, I am a product of too many years of Catholic school education. My earliest years at Holy Trinity school devoted more time to catechism than to math or penmanship. The good Sisters burned the question, “Who made you?” into my brain early on. (The Baltimore Catechism rote answer was always, “God made me . . .”) Recently, again, I’ve been thinking about the whole God-ness thing. Who is God/Goddess? What can our/my relationship to God, the Goddess be? How do I even begin to think about her/him/they/all of that which is? What name do I use? How do you/I adequately respect the Creator of every-thing?

Respect is tricky. I’m not even sure how it is possible to adequately respect my parents, my particular creators, who are human and flawed, yet who literally gave me my start in the world, who fed me, clothed me, sheltered me when I was helpless. God knows my parents were not perfect. I could go on about how I might wish they had been different. But where would I be without them?

How much more respect (and I know that is a profoundly inadequate word), is due to the Creator of every-thing? The one who was before every-thing, the one who always was and always will be, the Ground of All Being (thank you Paul Tillich). When I try to think about this, my brain feels caught in a centrifugal spin cycle! I need some structure and boundaries to bring my brain back into focus.

But the traditional Roman Catholic lines of thinking that first shaped my thinking just don’t do it for me anymore. Too patriarchal. Too God the Father.

Just when I was feeling particularly lost, I came across Sallie McFague’s book: Models of God: Theology for an Ecological, Nuclear Age. In the book she cautions that it is not possible to construct a definition of God. It just can’t be done. My words, but it would be like trying to draw a map that included everything! Maps and metaphors and models include some bits and necessarily leave out others. And, what is left out is often as telling as what’s included. That said, she describes one possible model built on experiences of relating to God. … that was just what I’d been fumbling to sus out, so I was delighted!

Here’s a very condensed version of some of her core ideas. First, she begins with the grounding assumption that the power of the universe is gracious.  … I take some comfort in that. The power of the universe is gracious, not dominating, not judgmental, but gracious. When we related to God in prayer, she encourages us to remember that we are addressing, not describing, God, and she suggests a three-part model for our relationship: mother-father, lover, friend.

Mother-father: creator, who says it is good that you exist, who says that you are good.

Lover: savior (and haven’t our best lovers been saviors to us in a way?), who says that you are valuable beyond all measure.

Friend: sustainer, who invites us to work and celebrate together as collaborators in the process of creation, as we nurture each other.

It is not a perfect picture. There are lots of gaps. But for me, right now, it is a nice start, and a comforting beginning answer to the question, “Who made you?”

Who are you?

On By MaryIn alchemy, Awareness, books, Koan, spiritual growthLeave a comment

I’m reading Braving the Thin Places: Celtic Wisdom to Create a Space for Grace by Julianne Stanz. It may be a little too “capital C” Catholic for my preference at the moment, but it is none the less a splendid book, rich with prompts that inspiration self-reflection. It is the Celtic version of spiritual Japanese Kintsugi, the art of repairing broken pottery with gold, a process that transforms the damaged areas into streams of strength and resilience marking the paths of our learning and growth.

In the first chapter, Julianne Stanz poses the question, “who are you?” She reflects on a moment when one of her teachers asked her, “who are you?” and then encouraged her to go beyond behaviors, beyond relationships, beyond the choices we make, even while recognizing that those are important elements within our story.

Reading those lines in the book, I couldn’t help but remember how I used that very question as an icebreaker in so many of the courses that I taught in Human Behavior. I remembered how I used that question as a blessing at the birth of one of the main characters in my novel, Letters from Eleanor Roosevelt. “Who are you?” is a question with deep resonance in my life.

Julianne Stanz’s teacher encourages her to dig deeper, to think about who she really is. There are some lines in the Celtic Kildare Poems that encourage us to always remember in our heart these three things related to the nature of our being:

Whence you come.

Who you are.

What shall become of you.

I believe that remembering those there things and reflecting on them has the potential to carry us deeper into self-awareness. Now, to be honest, committing to self-awareness is tricky. There can be a fine line between self-awareness and self-centeredness. But especially for women of a certain age, walking on the right side of that line is a journey worth taking. I remember my early days dancing on the fringes of the second wave of feminism, and my growing awareness of how our culture socialized women to be selfless. It’s hard to be self-centered when you are self-less. it’s also hard to be self-aware when you are self-less. For many of women, finding and nurturing a healthy sense of self is necessary.

And then because my brain is my brain, I remembered the Zen koan, “What is your original face? What is the face you had before you were born?” A koan intended to set the meditator on a quest to encounter a deeper understanding of oneself, a quest to engage with one’s true, unconditioned nature. Not to give away the answer, but some writings say that our original nature is luminous, and pure, unbound by any specific form or possession.  

What is your original face? What is the nature of your self? Who are you? I say each and every one of us is pure, luminous love. I say we, and all of creation, come from love. We are called to live love, and we will return to love. Not love the flighty emotion, but love the active verb. The Love that sees the goodness in self, others and all of creation. The Love that wills and acts to enable that goodness to grow. That’s who I think you are, and I am too.

Compassion saying ‘no’ and saying ‘yes’

On By MaryIn Cloister of the Sisters of Mary Magdalene, compassion, growth into humanity, spiritual growthLeave a comment

Sister Beatrix’s days as a postulant are unfolding, and each day Mother Magdalene observes her growth and is pleased with what she sees, all but for one thing. Sister Beatrix just is not able to discern when to say ‘no.’ Even in the cloister, with its schedule and practices of discipline and silence, Sister Beatrix is becoming increasingly frenetic with projects she has committed to taking up and to finishing.

Mother Magdalene sits with Sister Beatrix and shares this observation with her. Sister Beatrix replies, “But Mother, I thought that I should be of service to the other Sisters. Isn’t commitment to the life and projects of the community an important part of life in the cloister?”

Mother Magdalene smiled, and agreed that indeed that is so. Then she settled back into her chair and shared this story with Sister Beatrix.

A long, long time ago, when the Sisters of Mary Magdalene were a small cloister in the far off memories of those who live today, three elder women, one of whom had a bad reputation, came one day to Mother Achilles, the head of the cloister in those days.. The first woman asked her, “mother would you weave me a basket?” “I will not,” she replied.

The second woman asked, “Of your charity, weave a basket for me, so that we have a souvenir of you in the monastery.” But she said, “I do not have time.”

Then the third woman, the one with the bad reputation, asked, “Mother, will you weave me a basket, so that I may have something from your hands, Mother.” And Mother Achilles answered her at once, “For you, I will make one.”

The other two women asked her privately, “Why did you not want to do what we asked, but you promised to do what she asked?”

The Wise Woman, Mother Achilles, said to them, “I told you I would  not weave you a basket, and you were not disappointed, since you thought that I had not time. But, if I had not woven one for her, she would have thought, “The old woman has heard about my sin, and that is why she does not want to make me anything. And our relationship would have broken down. But now I have cheered her soul, so that she will not be overcome with sadness, self recrimination, and grief.”

 

“Dear Sister Beatrix,” Mother Magdalene continued, “Just as we must attend to authentic commitment and engagement within our community, there are also dangers of over involvement and over engagement that we must be aware of and guard against. Be cautious of anger, greed, a desire to be relevant, spectacular, and powerful. Be attentive to fining the middle path. Do your best each day, learn each day, and learn from your moments of frustration, learn new skills, learn when to say yes, and when to say no. Each in its own time. From each according to their ability, to each according to their need. That is the heart of compassion, compassion that finds its roots in the knowledge that nothing human is alien to us.”

 

 

may all women be dangerous women

On By MaryIn poetry, spiritual growth4 Comments

this morning I found this prayer by Lynne Hybels entitled Dangerous Women Creed posted on the WATER (women’s alliance for theology, ethics and religion) email list.  May it inspire us all to live out our faith courageously as healers, peacemakers and leaders in our world as we work together to give birth to a world of justice where all living beings flourish in dignity and respect . . . 

Dear God, please make us dangerous women.
May we be women who acknowledge our power to change, and grow,and be radically alive for God.
May we be healers of wounds and righters of wrongs.
May we weep with those who weep and speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.
May we cherish children, embrace the elderly, and empower the poor.
May we pray deeply and teach wisely.
May we be strong and gentle leaders.
May we sing songs of joy and talk down fear.
May we never hesitate to let passion push us, conviction compel us,and righteous anger energize us.
May we strike fear into all that is unjust and evil in the world.
May we dismantle abusive systems and silence lies with truth.
May we shine like stars in a darkened generation.
May we overflow with goodness in the name of God and by the power of Jesus.
And in that name and by that power, may we change the world.
Dear God, please make us dangerous women.
Amen.
 … written by Lynne Hybels

Happy Easter, Happy Season of Greening, Manifesto: the mad farmer liberation front

On By MaryIn alchemy, environmental rights, spiritual growth, sustainability3 Comments

today is Easter. We decided to go to church to honor the moment and to re-member. It was the right choice.

The gathering words were taken from a poem by Wendell Berry. The words seemed so right, I thought I would share them with you. I hope they are as meaningful for you as they are for me.

Manifesto:
The Mad Farmer Liberation Front

by Wendell Berry

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.

And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.

When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.
So, friends, every day do something
that won’t compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.

Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.

Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.
Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.

Listen to carrion — put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.

Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.

As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn’t go.

Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.

“Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front” from The Country of Marriage, copyright ® 1973 by Wendell Berry, reprinted by permission of Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, Inc.

Learning swordsmanship & Action through Nonaction (wu-wei)

On By MaryIn growth into humanity, spiritual growth, vision and perspective6 Comments

From Joseph Campbell’s ‘Myths to Live By’

Once upon a time, in another time and place, there was a master swordsman who established a school so that he could share his knowledge with the boys of the village. Boys who wanted to learn swordsmanship would come and live in the school with the master. When they first came, he would set them to doing chores – washing the dishes, doing the laundry, sweeping out the rooms, etc. – and then he would ignore them for a while. After a few days he would come up from somewhere and smack one or the other of them with a stick.  The smacking would go on for a while, and then the boys would begin to be prepared for the whack; and then the master would alter his tactic, and he would come upon the boys from another side, another angle. Finally, one by one the boys would each learn that he must be prepared not from any particular direction, but rather from a constant and consistent state of centeredness – an undirected alertness ever ready for immediate response. In Japan, this is known as wu-wei, doing without doing, or action without action.

The master carefully monitored the boys progress, and one day he told his students that he would bow before anyone who, in any way whatsoever, could catch him by surprise.  Days passed and the master was never caught. He was ever aware and ever vigilant.  He was never off his guard, not even for a moment.

Life in the school went on, and all was well. Mostly that is. As you might imagine nothing is ever perfect. In fact, in addition to the boys in the village, there was one young girl who also wanted to learn how to become a swordswoman.  The master flatly refused, telling her that work with swords was for men only.  The girl persisted and finally asked the master if she could come and work in the school. Finally he relented and allowed her to work in the kitchen. But she was forbidden to touch the swords, and was restricted from even observing the classes in sword-techniques. She diligently attended to all of her work in the kitchen, and very, very discretely she would hide and watch the boys as they learned to hold and wield their swords. The master knew that she broke his second rule, but he quietly kept watch and allowed her to observe from a distance.

One day the master returned to his hut from a long day of teaching and working in the garden. He asked for a bowl of water to wash off his feet. The young girl brought it from the kitchen. The master felt the water was a bit cold, and so he asked her to warm it. The girl returned with a bowl of hot water, and the master, without thinking, put his feet in, quickly pulled them out, and when down on his knees in a very deep bow before the girl. He bowed deeply before the one student he had rejected. As he rose from the bow, he welcomed the girl to full status as a student among all the other students.

Joseph Campbell tells us that the mistake of inadvertence, not being alert, not quite awake is the mistake of missing the moment of life. The whole of the art of the nonaction that is action (wu-wei) is unremitting alertness. In practicing wu-wei, in living wu-wei one is fully conscious all the time, and since life is an expression of consciousness, life is then lived fully. There is a Zen saying that is the evening message at many Zen sangha’s (communities):

Life and death are grave matters.
All things pass quickly away
Each of us must be completely alert:
Never neglectful, never indulgent.

May we honor this message well, with deep thought and compassionate wu-wei.

Gifts: to accept or not to accept that is a question; and The Gift of Insults

On By MaryIn compassion, forgiveness, growth into humanity, spiritual growthLeave a comment

The sagas and myths associated with Morihei Ueshiba, the founder of Aikido are legend. I’m not sure that this particular one is attributed to him in particular, but it is a bit of a classic Zen story that could be about him. Or it could be about you …

Once upon a time, there lived a great warrior. Even when the warrior was quite elderly, no one was able to best the fighter, every challenger was defeated.  The reputation of this great sensei extended far and wide throughout the land and many students gathered to study in the dojo.

One day an infamous young warrior arrived at the dojo. He was determined to be the first man to defeat the great master. Along with his strength, the stranger had a unique ability to spot and exploit any weakness in an opponent. He would watch and wait for his opponent to make the first move. In that first move, weaknesses were revealed, and the stranger would then strike mercilessly with both speed and force. He would dance like a butterfly and sting like a scorpion.  He would poke and jab and taunt and test. No one had ever lasted with him in a match beyond the first move.

When the stranger challenged the great master, the old master gladly and graciously accepted, much to the concern of the students in the dojo. As the two squared off for battle, the young warrior began to hurl insults at the old master. He threw dirt and spit in the face of the master. For hours he verbally assaulted the sensei with every curse and insult known to humanity. But the sensei stood calmly, motionless waiting. Finally, the young warrior exhausted himself. He recognized and acknowledged his defeat and left feeling shamed.

Somewhat disappointed that no blows were exchanged with the insolent youth, the students gathered around the old master and asked “How could you endure such an indignity? How did you drive him away?”

“If someone comes to give you a gift and you do not receive it,” the master replied, “to whom does the gift belong?”

Hmm …  everyone is a teacher. Everything offer to us, everything hurled at us is a gift. It is always and everywhere our choice as to whether and how we will accept the gift.

 

On the day we acknowledge Dr. King & toward the day we acknowledge human dignity

On By MaryIn alchemy, anti-racism, human rights, spiritual growth4 Comments

Today, January 21, 2013 is the day that the United States has deemed to remember the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  We remember him in recognition of his work to end – well to challenge – racism within the United States of America.  That is a work in progress for sure.  In lots of places you will find his “I have a dream” speech.  It is an important speech. You should go read it.

Here, today, I wanted to share with you two of my favorites for thinking about and challenging racism. One is a poem by Pat Parker… it names and plays with stereotypes that so many white people hold about people of color. It plays with the struggles white people manufacture when we finally try to get over ourselves and open to developing relationships with people of color – as if that is the great gift all people of color have been waiting for all their lives (maybe, just maybe no so much!).

The second excerpt is the White Privilege Inventory that has been developed from Peggy McIntosh’s essay on Unpacking White Privilege.  … Because so many white people still think it is an even playing field.

So, read the poem, please. Think about it with an open heart. … of course she’s angry. And she is also laughing, I think.  Then fill in the inventory. Just how many privileges do you enjoy?  And, then … take one little step outside of your comfort zone. Do some little thing to make this world of ours a bit more fair, a bit more respectful of the dignity of ALL sentient beings, a bit more compassionate?

Pat Parker poem – ” For the White Person Who Wants to Know How to Be My Friend”?
The first thing you do is to forget that i’m Black.
Second, you must never forget that i’m Black.

You should be able to dig Aretha,
but don’t play her every time i come over.
And if you decide to play Beethoven–don’t tell
me his life story. They made us take music
appreciation too.

Eat soul food if you like it, but don’t expect me
to locate your restaurants
or cook it for you.

And if some Black person insults you,
mugs you, rapes your sister, rapes you,
rips your house, or is just being an ***–
please, do not apologize to me
for wanting to do them bodily harm.
It makes me wonder if you’re foolish.

And even if you really believe Blacks are better
lovers than whites–don’t tell me. I start thinking
of charging stud fees.

In other words, if you really want to be my
friend–don’t make a labor of it. I’m lazy.
Remember.

RACIAL INVENTORY

Score 5 if statement is always true for you

Score 3 if the statement is sometimes true for you

Score 0 if the statement is seldom true for you

Because of my race or color …

1. _____ I can be in the company of people of my race most of the time.

2. _____ If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure of renting or purchasing housing in an area in which I would want to live and which I can afford.

3. _____ I can turn on the television or open the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely and positively represented.

4. _____ When I am told about our national heritage or about “civilization,” I am shown that my people made it what it is.

5. _____ I can be sure that curricular materials will testify to the existence of my race.

6. _____ I can go into most supermarkets and find the staple foods that fit with my cultural traditions.

7. _____ I can go into any hairdresser’s shop and find someone who can cut my hair.

8. _____ Whether I use checks, credit cards or cash, I can count on my skin color not to work against the appearance of financial reliability.

9. _____ I can swear, dress in second hand clothes, or not answer letters, without having people attribute these choices to the bad morals, poverty or illiteracy of my race.

10. _____ I can do well in challenging situations without being called a credit to my race.

11. _____ I am never asked to speak for people of my race.

12. _____ I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as a cultural outsider.

13. _____ I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to the “person in charge,” I will be facing a person of my race.

14. _____ I can conveniently buy posters, postcards, picture books, greeting cards and children’s magazines featuring people of my race

15. _____ If a traffic cop pulls me over, I can be sure I haven’t been singled out because of my race.

16. _____  I can go home from most meetings of the organizations I belong to feeling tied in rather than isolated, out of place, outnumbered, unheard, feared, or hated.

17. _____ I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having co-workers on the job suspect that I got it because of race.

18. _____ I can choose public accommodation without fearing that people of my race cannot get in or will be mistreated in the places I have chosen.

19. _____ I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help, my race will not work against me.

20. _____ If my week or year is going badly, I need not wonder if each negative episode or situation has racial overtones.

21. _____ I can comfortably avoid, ignore or minimize the impact of racism on my life.

22. _____ I can speak in public to a powerful group without putting my race on trial.

23. _____ I can choose blemish cover bandages in “flesh” color and have them more or less match my skin.

_____  TOTAL

adapted from Peggy McIntosh “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack”

On loving your neighbor as yourself

On By MaryIn change, growth into humanity, human rights, social justice, spiritual growthLeave a comment

 I find the great invocation, “love your neighbor as yourself” which finds expression in many of our world’s religions, to be problematic, not because I have any trouble with the idea of loving my neighbor, but because as I look around my world I simply do not think that many (if any) of us love ourselves all that well. Love your neighbor as yourself. How well do any of us really love ourselves? Psychiatry, psychology, social work and self help industries would not be flourishing to the degree that they are if authentic self love flourished. Rather self love stands as an anathema, it is more often taken as self indulgence rather than acceptance and cherishing based on awareness, knowledge and insight.  More often those who begin to walk the path of self-acceptance experience a duality within themselves – good and evil, angel and demon, love and hate – and then work to nurture one side while banishing the other. But, a house divided against itself will never stand. Until we each learn to fully cherish our selves for all of who we are, in all of our wonderful, delicious complexity, there will be no loving the other well. Until we each learn to fully cherish our selves for all of who we are, in all of our complexity, and until we learn to love each other well, there will be no justice, no respect for human rights, no peace.

 ‘Love yourself well, and love your neighbor as yourself’ is perhaps a better rendition of the precept. Karen Armstrong has eloquently described a path to loving our neighbor in her book, “twelve steps to a compassionate life.” The first step: learn about compassion progresses to look at your own world; develop compassion for yourself; develop empathy with others; practice mindfulness; take action; be aware of how little we know; consider how we should speak to one another; act with concern for everybody; continuously develop your knowledge; expand your recognition; and love your enemies.

 And as I come back to ‘love yourself well’ and Armstrong’s second step, ‘develop compassion for yourself’ I find myself thinking about how little we seem to appreciate the depth and breadth of human complexity, of how the trajectory of understanding trends toward parsimony and simplicity. But we are neither parsimonious nor simple beings. To bring Occam’s razor to understanding ourselves (and others) may be nothing more than self injury and cutting at best and perhaps slitting our wrists at worst.

 Recently, as I was reading Herman Hesse’s Steppenwolf, on page 75 I came across a particularly apt metaphor for what I am trying to get at here:

A person designs for herself a garden with a hundred kinds of trees, a thousand kinds of flowers, a hundred kinds of fruit and vegetables. Suppose, then, that the gardener of this garden knew no other distinction than between edible and inedible, nine tenths of this garden would be useless to him. He would pull up the most enchanting flowers and hew down the noblest trees and even regard them with a loathing and envious eye. This is what we do with the flowers of our soul. What does not stand classified as either man or wolf, what does not fit neatly into our predefined dichotomies we do not see at all.

 In order to love our selves well, we need to learn to look at ourselves with open hearts and minds, with the eyes of loving kindness and fierce open hearted compassion. Then we can begin to love our neighbors as our selves. Then we can begin to work together to build a world of justice, a world where human dignity (in all of its messy complexity) is respected, a world of peace where differences and diversity is celebrated!