I will confess, I am a product of too many years of Catholic school education. My earliest years at Holy Trinity school devoted more time to catechism than to math or penmanship. The good Sisters burned the question, “Who made you?” into my brain early on. (The Baltimore Catechism rote answer was always, “God made me . . .”) Recently, again, I’ve been thinking about the whole God-ness thing. Who is God/Goddess? What can our/my relationship to God, the Goddess be? How do I even begin to think about her/him/they/all of that which is? What name do I use? How do you/I adequately respect the Creator of every-thing?

Respect is tricky. I’m not even sure how it is possible to adequately respect my parents, my particular creators, who are human and flawed, yet who literally gave me my start in the world, who fed me, clothed me, sheltered me when I was helpless. God knows my parents were not perfect. I could go on about how I might wish they had been different. But where would I be without them?

How much more respect (and I know that is a profoundly inadequate word), is due to the Creator of every-thing? The one who was before every-thing, the one who always was and always will be, the Ground of All Being (thank you Paul Tillich). When I try to think about this, my brain feels caught in a centrifugal spin cycle! I need some structure and boundaries to bring my brain back into focus.

But the traditional Roman Catholic lines of thinking that first shaped my thinking just don’t do it for me anymore. Too patriarchal. Too God the Father.

Just when I was feeling particularly lost, I came across Sallie McFague’s book: Models of God: Theology for an Ecological, Nuclear Age. In the book she cautions that it is not possible to construct a definition of God. It just can’t be done. My words, but it would be like trying to draw a map that included everything! Maps and metaphors and models include some bits and necessarily leave out others. And, what is left out is often as telling as what’s included. That said, she describes one possible model built on experiences of relating to God. … that was just what I’d been fumbling to sus out, so I was delighted!

Here’s a very condensed version of some of her core ideas. First, she begins with the grounding assumption that the power of the universe is gracious.  … I take some comfort in that. The power of the universe is gracious, not dominating, not judgmental, but gracious. When we related to God in prayer, she encourages us to remember that we are addressing, not describing, God, and she suggests a three-part model for our relationship: mother-father, lover, friend.

Mother-father: creator, who says it is good that you exist, who says that you are good.

Lover: savior (and haven’t our best lovers been saviors to us in a way?), who says that you are valuable beyond all measure.

Friend: sustainer, who invites us to work and celebrate together as collaborators in the process of creation, as we nurture each other.

It is not a perfect picture. There are lots of gaps. But for me, right now, it is a nice start, and a comforting beginning answer to the question, “Who made you?”